Your Attention Please

Before saying anything, you need to answer a few questions for yourself:

1. What are my strengths?
   We all have them so dig deep
2. How is it helping me?
   One client told me that she had a lot of energy and her out-of-the box thinking heloped her solve problems more easily. Another who was a salesman found that clients liked to work with him because he always seemed to be “on the ball”. Another who was a social worker felt that she was better able to empathize with her clients
3. How is my ADHD hindering me at work?
   Difficulty with concentrating, with organizing, excessive perfectionism…
4. What is the specific problem I want help with?
   Can’t concentrate because of noise or traffic, difficulty getting organized so often looking for things, difficulty with constant distractions of email and phone, can’t seem to organize time well, etc.
5. What solutions do I want to propose?
   Will this solution help or should you consider a different career? What is the cost to the employer? Where can it be found?
6. How can your employer help?
   Do you need your employer to help defray the cost of coaching, provide you with an accommodation, change something in the way he or she works with you?
7. What’s in it for my employer? Why would your employer help you? What does your company stand to gain from reducing or eliminating your problem?

In most cases of course when your employer provides help, he or she ends up with a more productive employee; however, what is the benefit? Will you be able to get more done? Will you improve your sales? Will the quality of your work improve? It can also be an opportunity to solve a problem, or improve the way the company does things. For example, one client who got help with his productivity, was able to help other colleagues, non-ADHDers, also improve theirs.

 It will really help to know your strengths to give you confidence when you see your employer. Be prepared to offer information on the solution you are proposing so that you don’t have to run after him or her a second time.

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Dr. John Ratey, co-author of Driven to Distraction and Delivered from Distraction, and speaker at the ADDA (ADD Association) Conference in Minneapolis, Minnesota that took place July 10 to 13, 2008 spoke about adult ADHD and exercise.

He makes a good case around the fact that exercise is an important component to overcoming ADHD. As Dr. Ratey mentioned, more than 10,000 years ago, humans walked, ran or sprinted an average of 10 to 14 miles per day just to survive. They hunted and were hunted and so those who could out-run and out-plan their prey or preditors got to survive. This in fact, put ADHD adults at an evolutionary advantage. This ability to move quickly, this need to move, and make impulsive decisions actually aided in the survival of the species.

Now, fast forward to modern humans, we’re lucky if we walk, run or sprint 10 steps in our day. As a result, the same traits that ensured their survival in the past, create an unsatisfied need to move in ADHD adults. As a result of our sedentary lifestyle, ADHD has become a disorder.

To counter this, exercise becomes an important part of the solution. He described many convincing studies that described how exercise not only helps ADHD adults and children but is good for all brains because:

• it increases blood flow by increasing the number of blood vessels in the brain;
• it increases the release of neurotransmitters responsible for ADHD: norepinephrine and dopamine
• over time, you build more receptors, enzymes and blood vessels in your brain
• it helps control impulses because exercise arouses the brain
• it reduces the need for disciplinary issues in school

His new book, Spark: The Revolutionary New Science of Exercise and the Brain, is available at bookstores and describes much of the research on the importance of exercise as a way of improving the brain’s executive functions and thus, reducing the effects of ADHD.

 He recommends:

• find an exercise you enjoy and make it fun
• make a commitment with yourself and others to help you stick to it
• select more challenging exercises involving balance such as karate, danse, tennis, volleyball, etc.
• use music to stimulate you
• go outside to exercise whenever possible
• make it into a ritual

As an ADHD Coach, I can safely say that my clients who have the most success in their lives despite their struggles with ADHD are often those who have adopted a more active lifestyle.

If you’ve never liked exercising or have found good excuses for not doing it, I challenge you to find something you’ll enjoy and begin with babysteps that you build on and

Get moving!

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I just returned from the 13th ADDA Conference (http://www.add.org) called Adult ADHD: People, Purpose and Passion, and what a blast!

For adults with ADHD, this conference provides access to resource people (experts in numerous fields) and resources such as books, programs, and tools. Access to information through the numerous breakout sessions and motivation from the keynote speakers is unequalled anywhere, and it’s also a chance to see many different models for how to live with ADHD successfully.

At the same time, while the keynote speeches by Drs. Ned Hallowell, John Ratey and Sari Solden were definitely worth the investment and travel, they aren’t the most valuable treasures you get from attending such an event. As an adult with ADHD, you likely spend a lot of energy trying to meet “neuro-typicals” expectations. Trying not to ruffle feathers and dodging the proverbial bullet is stressful, exhausting and fraught with pitfalls.

Now imagine yourself with in a room 400 other ADHDers (hopefully more next year). They accept as you are, providing the opportunity to connect with others who deal with many of the same issues as you… most of them caused by trying to make the 90% of the population who don’t have ADHD happy! Even people who came to the conference alone left having forged connections with other ADHDers who accept and understand them. This is perhaps the most rewarding part of the ADDA conference experience: connecting with others who “get you.” Perfect strangers came together and shared their experiences as ADHDers without fear of ridicule or making a “faux pas.”

So often ADHDers avoid connecting with others fearing judgment (often with good reason). It’s simply too stressful to worry about doing something socially unacceptable. However, Dr. Hallowell (author of Driven to Distraction and Delivered from Distraction among others) emphasized the importance of connecting with others who know you and love and accept you despite your “flaws.” It’s important for everyone, but absolutely for ADHDers to find someone in your life who can say:

“I know you and I love you anyway.”

If you haven’t found someone like that in your life, don’t give up! And I’ll see you next year at the ADDA conference!

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If you’re an adult with ADHD, you’ve lived through many negative situations, probably more than your fair share. A lifetime of failures, shame and struggles leaves scars in the form of low self-esteem and a tendency not to trust others or yourself. As a way to protect yourself, you may begin to play the ADHD Blame Game.

When disaster strikes at work, you blame your boss, the situation, the resources that weren’t quite good enough or when there’s no one or nothing else to blame, you play blame solitaire and blame yourself. You’re not alone, everyone does it… in the “big leagues”  they sue each other, always looking for someone to point the finger at.

The problem with the blame game is that it focuses on judgment, instead of learning. Mistakes are an essential part of learning and when you play the blame game, you deprive yourself of important learning experiences. You can`t learn because you`re busy looking for a scapegoat.

If instead you shifted your thinking away from blame, you’d find that maybe you’ve identified a need to acquire or improve current skills, or that maybe you should avoid certain situations in the future or at least ask for help from someone more skilled or experienced. Maybe you need a whole new approach! Heck! If nothing else, you now know what doesn’t work. Remember that and you won’t be doomed to repeat it.

Even if you were wronged, avoid playing the blame game just because it’s not productive. It keeps you thinking like a victim and only prevents you from moving forward.

So if you find yourself looking for someone to blame, stop! Now, ask yourself:

1. What can I learn from this situation that I can use in the future?
2. What have I learned about myself because of what happened?
3. What do I need to do to move forward from here?

And then just do it!

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When they first contact me, many of my clients ask me where they can go to get the cure for ADHD. While medication can definitely help many adults with ADHD, they don’t eradicate it. They simply allow you to pay better attention so that you can learn to manage your ADHD. Managing it can feel like a chore but it’s worth it. I’ve already talked about others who have been successful with it.

What I have found over my years as ADHD Coach is that you need to work 6 building blocks to managing adult ADHD. They are the following:

1. Learn about and embrace your ADHD
While ADHD has likely been a very negative force in your life, knowing more about it will help you to develop the lifestyle that will help you manage your ADHD. You might even discover that there’s an upside to ADHD.

2. Learn and adopt effective productivity management
One of the biggest complaints my clients have around their productivity. As an adult with ADHD you need to learn not only time management the ADHD way, but also self-management, organizing, creating systems and overcoming procrastination, and more.

3. Develop emotional intelligence
If your history is like many of my clients’, you’ve had to and possibly still deal with some pretty negative forces in your life. A lifetime of failures, disappointments, and frustrations may lead to low self-esteem and a negative attitude. As an ADHDer you may also struggle with controling your emotions.

4. Create opportunities to self-actualize
Believe it or not, you have strengths, talents, a whole lot of untapped potential. Discovering and recognizing them are the first steps. You then need to create opportunities to live them, do more of them, and have a fulfilling life. You also need to take control of your financial health to help open opportunities for yourself.

5. Develop nourishing relationships
You teach people how to treat you. Developing nourishing and supportive relationships is your responsibility. Help your loved ones understand you and ask for their help to ensure they don’t sabotage your self-management. Learn good communication skills and reap the benefits in every part of your life.

6. Manage your life projects effectively
Life is made up of numerous projects. Clearing clutter, painting a room, looking for work, starting a business, even making supper, are all examples of projects. Managing projects effectively will help you greatly in managing your life.

As you can see, overcoming ADHD takes time and work. There is no magic pill. But I can tell you that you can have a happy and fulfilling life as an adult with ADHD and that you are worth the investment you make in yourself. Investing in yourself will have a positive outcome.

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