Your Attention Please

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When my prospects, who are adults with Attention Deficit Disorder (ADHD), call me they usually know about one or two symptoms that affect them. They think that ADHD is about being inattentive, impulsive or hyperactive. While I learned a lot from my ADHD coach training, the lights went on when I read the following definition:

“ADHD is a genetic, neurological difficulty of engagement with life activities on demand in which an individual’s performance, mood, and energy level are solely determined by that individual’s momentary sense of interest, challenge, novelty, and sometimes, urgency.”

Understanding this can help relieve a lot of the blame and shame. ADHD is a genetic neurological difficulty, which means it can’t be “cured” and is not a moral failing.

The difficulty of engagement with life activities on demand explains why at times you can’t concentrate while at other times you’re able to pay such attention that you can’t “disengage yourself”. You may not be able to concentrate on paperwork but when it comes to doing something that you have a lot of interest in, you’re able to “hyperfocus”, that is focus on this interest in such a way that you do at the exclusion of everything else.

Finally, the last section: your “performance, mood, and energy level are solely determined by [your]momentary sense of interest, challenge, novelty, and sometimes, urgency” gives you clues as to how you can manage your ADHD. When a task is boring, you can create interest or challenge or novelty to make it more likely for you to accomplish it. For example, you could improve your chances of completing a boring task by listening to music or changing where you complete it.

Unfortunately most ADHD adults use urgency by waiting until the last minute to complete these tasks. This may have worked in individual programs when you were 16 or 17 but when you work with teams (most work environments work with teams) and as you get older, using urgency is not a healthy way to work.

Tell me what have you done to make a boring task more interesting? With your amazing create out-of-the box thinking, I’m sure the suggestions can be very interesting

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When adults suspect that adult ADHD has been holding them back some will get diagnosed if they can find the resources, financial and clinical, to do so. Many ask me what the diagnosis can accomplish. There are many other problems that resemble ADHD symptoms and require a different way to manage them. I caution those who call me to make sure that they seek help from someone who is trained in assessing ADHD. Once it’s official some will feel relief and realize that they’re not crazy or “bad”. Eventually a certain number decide to turn to ADHD medications with the hope that this will cure them. While medications do make a difference by improving your ability to pay attention, and thus reducing the barriers to learning, it doesn’t solve your adult ADHD problem.

I believe that all adults with ADHD can achieve their full potential by empowering themselves with effective self-management and supportive systems and habits. Do achieve this you need to learn life skills that allow you to identify and develop your strengths and overcome your weaknesses well enough to function. For the next few posts I will be providing you with the steps to help you better manage your adult ADHD.

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I attended the LDAQ conference last week that took place in Montreal and also participated as a speaker on ADHD for this event. There were few sessions on adult ADHD as the conference was more geared to teachers and school personnel.

One thing that I really enjoyed was that there was no dispute about whether ADHD exists. By contrast, you can’t surf the Web or open a newspaper without someone disputing ADHD or sensationalizing and calling into question what they call “doping” of kids with ADHD. One thing that was highlighted was that to date no other treatment alone has as much positive impact on ADHD than medications for improving ADHDer’s lives.

Dr. Annick Vincent, a Quebec city psychiatrist who has devoted a large part of her practice to ADHD in adults likens the use of medications to wearing a pair of glasses when you’re nearsighted. While it won’t show you how to read, it will improve your chances of being able to learn to. She also mentioned that along with medications, learning new strategies through coaching for managing your life goes a long way to improving a person’s life.

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One of my clients told me about an interesting video game she found out about that helps manage your moods every day. While it is not specifically for ADHD, ADHD adults can definitely benefit from it. Many of my clients have difficulty with managing their mood. They can get down on themselves and have to deal with so much more crap than most people.

It was developed by a social psychologist and tested at McGill University on telemarketers to see if it improved their outlook on life and their sales by improving what they paid attention to. And it did, not only that, but just by playing the video game 5 mintes a day, it also improved their self-esteem and their sales.

Basically the video game shows you different types of faces, you have to click on the ones who smile. Eventually, you get to the point where they are the only ones you see, that is, you filter out the grumpy or threatening faces and pay more attention to smiling faces.

Here are the conclusion:  “…whereas people with lower self-esteem tended to show a pronounced attentional bias toward threat, this tendency was essentially removed if they first played the find-the-smile game. This suggests that attentional habits can indeed be trained by practicing the ability to orient toward positive and away from negative social feedback.”

They offer free trials and you can purchase with unlimited use at $19.95 Canadian.

I tried it and found that I was smiling more at the end of the session, but then again, I tend to be a pretty happy person. Managing your mood whether you’re an ADHD adult or not, is a choice. I can tell you that deciding to stay positive and happy leads to success.

I’d love for those of you who try it out to let me know how it went. Click here to try it

Don’t worry, be happy.

Linda

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“Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass… It’s about learning to dance in the rain” (author unknown)

I heard this quote on a show about autism and realized how powerful it was. So many people facing adversity have unrealized dreams (writing a book, starting a business, getting healthy, etc…. what’s your dream?) They’re waiting for things to be perfect before they start on THE big project.

As an ADHD adult, you know things will never be perfect. Heck, if you’re human, things will never be perfect. You’ll wait your little heart out if you’re looking for perfection. It’s not going to happen, and in the meantime, you’re missing an opportunity because you’re putting the cart before the horse.

That “big project” you’re planning (after the storm has passed of course) may be just the motivator you need to improve your life. That big project or exciting goal will often give you enough energy to resolve the very issues that are holding you back.

Are you waiting until you get organized, learn to manage your time, improve your finances or overcome your tendency to procrastinate? You’ll wait a long time. But if you go ahead and start, if you get excited about what you’re doing, you’ll have the fuel you need to resolve those issues and more.

Don’t wait. Dig out your umbrella, put on your rain coat and set out on your adventure. You may be surprised to find that while it is stormy where you are, the storm will pass, and it’ll pass faster if you’re moving forward.

Once you start your project, you’ll be far more motivated to get your “s**t together” and learn to better manage your money, your time, your relationships, yourself… The road won’t always be smooth, and you may stumble from time to time, but when you set your sights on an exciting objective, you’ll have the energy to get back up and get over, or through, any obstacle.

Are you waiting for the storm to pass? Come dancing!

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I’m so excited about this and really have to tell someone. First, I’ve put up a blog and have been contributing to the addcoachingblog, and there’s more… Ready, here it is: I’m writing a book on productivity management for ADHDers. I started in September with an idea and in October with an outline and am happy to say the first draft is almost finished.

A lesson learned…

As I am writing this book, I realise just how difficult it is to create the routine of writing. I’ve tried many formulas but have found that what worked best for me is the same as what I would suggest to a client with ADHD. That is, to attach this routine to another one that I already are consistently doing. Being a believer in the importance of breakfast, I never miss it so I’ve been writing while I’m having breakfast. As a result, I’ve been writing consistently at least one hour a day every day.

What routine do you want to create in your life? Can you anchor it to another one you’re already doing?

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Many of my ADHD clients are frustrated by their difficulty with estimating time and being on time to appointments. Their spouses and friends get annoyed at their tardiness. In our Time Management workshop for ADHDers we help participants find ways to get reminded of appointments and when they need to take their medications.

Many decide to use a PDA (Palm Pilot, Blackberry or iPaq) to get those reminders. For those who prefer a paper agenda reminders are more difficult to arrange. Here’s an article on how you can get free reminders using Internet agendas like Google Calendar and setting them up to remind you by text messaging you on your cell phone. I tried it and it works! Remember though that text messaging may cost you a few cents more. The article talks about using these reminder systems to reminders to take your ADHD medications.

http://everythingaboutadd.blogspot.com/2007/10/adhd-solutions-free-medication-reminder.html

“Funny how the biggest problems most people have with these ‘addictive’ medications is forgetting to take them! What do you think?”

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I was at a conference with Dr. Russell Barkley when he insisted that ADHD is a disability and that to see it as anything but is a mistake. As a coach, my tendency is to find the diamond in the rough, the strengths and talents my clients have so I’m less likely to work on the disability but really more on the strenghts and talents of my clients. This, of course, is not to say that ADHDers are not severely challenged at times by their ADHD.

What do you think? Is ADHD a disability?

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We often hear that success in sports starts with “a love of the game.” I don’t think that’s true.

Why? It’s easy to love the game. The game is exciting. Not everything that’s easy is bad (work smarter, not harder… right?), but in sports most people love the game. That’s why they play. But do they love the practice? The practice is boring. The game is a rush. The practice is mind-numbingly repetitive. The game gets all the glory.

I firmly believe that entrepreneurial success is inevitable if you’re doing what you love. However, if you want to know if you’re doing what you love, ask yourself, “Do I love the practice?”If you choose your “game” based on your values, and interest and you work with your strengths, you’ll love the practice AND the game.

To your Focus! Action! Success!

Linda

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I don’t have ADHD. My husband does. My daughter does. My clients do. But I don’t. And to listen to all the ADHDers I know, you’d think I have super powers.

My husband complains about his memory, saying, “I have ADHD, so if I don’t write it down, I’ll forget it!” I suggest we should get him something so he can write things down. Then, to make sure I won’t forget to get it for him, I write it in my agenda.

My daughter complains about losing her keys. She says, “When I came in, I put them down somewhere and now I can’t find them! It’s this stupid ADHD! I always lose my keys!”

“Let me get this straight. You didn’t put your keys where they go but just dropped them somewhere, and now you can’t find them? Maybe we should put a bowl or a small basket on your dresser where you always put your keys, just like the one I have.” I write that down too.

Please don’t think I’m trivializing ADHD. As an ADHD coach, I work with people who struggle with it daily. And many of them struggle with it mightily. However, not every problem you face is unique, and not every solution needs to be rocket science! What’s more, you don’t need to beat yourself up about it.

The rest of us neuro-normals (my husband calls us “muggles”) struggle with many of the same problems. Not nearly to the same degree, but ADHDers often think they struggle with things everyone else finds easy or simple. Not true.

My husband practically has a fit if he arrives late at an appointment. I asked him, “What would you do if someone arrived 5 mintues late to see you?”

“Oh, well, it’s no big deal. What’s five minutes?” I looked at him in amazement!

“Why do you insist on higher standards for yourself than you do for the rest of the world?” I’ve seen so many ADHDers apply much stricter rules to themselves than they do to others. They refuse to accept that a simple mistake could be just that, a simple mistake, and since no one is perfect, we all have permission to make them from time to time.

I don’t have super powers. If I don’t write it down, I’ll forget it too. If I forget, it has nothing to do with ADHD. It has to do with a busy life and a preoccupied brain. Oh, and it’s not x-ray vision that prevents me from losing my keys. I always put them back in my purse and I have a place where I keep my purse so I won’t lose it.

Sometimes the most daunting problems can be resolved by allowing yourself the time to figure a way to solve it and then to go ahead and use the solution… better still, use it consistently. And sometimes it’s a simple mistake. You make them. I make them. Know what else? So does everyone else. Maybe, just maybe, you should give yourself a break.

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