This week while coaching one of my Maximum Productivity Makeover groups, one participant mentioned that she felt ashamed that she had not completed something she had committed to the previous session.  It is common for adults with ADHD to feel this way.  After all, they have been punished, embarrassed, and put down for making mistakes all their lives.  They’ve been subjected to this for so long that they’ve now taken over the job and beat up on themselves!

I would like to propose a different option: pretend you’re a GPS, just say, “Recalculating!”  When you’ve made a commitment and have tried your absolute best (and remember that your best is “everything possible given what you knew at the time”) but you just weren’t able to pull it off, there is no shame in failing.  Instead of putting yourself down, consider what you have to learn.  Examine what went wrong; maybe you need a new system or you tried to tackle more than you could handle.  Whatever it is, you gain nothing from throwing your hands up in defeat, hanging your head in shame, or resorting to blame and finger-pointing.

If instead, when you get lost you react like your GPS does, and “recalculate”, that is, allow your “mistake” or missed goal to become an opportunity to learn and to readjust how you do things, you need never feel that shame again.

This is not to say that you shouldn’t keep your promises and honor your commitments.  Instead, adopt a new “learning approach” to making mistakes.  Ask yourself, “What have I learned from this experience?”, “How can I make this work next time?”, “What do I need to do before I attempt this?” and “Do I need some help?”

And then simply recalculate… uh, recommit.

In response to much demand, European adults with ADHD will finally be able to enjoy the benefits of The Maximum Productivity Makeover for Creative Geniuses, a program tailor-made for adults with ADHD.

This is a program that has shown amazing results for ADHD adults in many parts of the world, but has always been particularly challenging for people in Europe because of the inconveniences of time zones. The group programs have proven so popular, this has become the preferred approach for people to take the Maximum Productivity Makeover, but my European clients and subscribers were left out in the cold.

Previously, group sessions took place at 7 pm EST, which for most Europeans, meant attending sessions in the middle of the night. The program is very rewarding, offering many benefits, but it is also challenging. The Maximum Productivity Makeover is not a program you want to take when you’re half asleep! Well, we now have some amazing news for all our European friends!

We are offering a Maximum Productivity Makeover group session at an hour that is entirely reasonable for almost everyone in Europe! We’ve set it to start at 6 pm GMT, so it will run in the early evening for most Europeans, as it commonly does for North Americans. The next group is expected to start on Wednesday, March 7th at 6 pm GMT (1 pm EST for any North Americans who’ve been hoping for an afternoon program.)

We knew it was time to offer more options for more people everywhere when the last group we launched completely sold out. The word is spreading like wildfire: this program has a dramatic and positive impact on the lives of adults with ADHD.

The program combines training and self-awareness building exercises with the accountability and planning the makes coaching so effective for adults with ADHD. Each new session, participants report breakthroughs that helped them, and will help you, define what you need to adjust in your life to become more productive.

Group coaching for ADHDers has the added, and really amazing benefit (one of the best of all, many participants swear) of letting you connect with people who totally get you! It can be difficult to talk about ADHD to your friends and family; you don’t feel understood, you may even feel judged. In this group setting, it’s quite different because everyone on the call has Attention Deficit Disorder; many participants have formed lasting friendships.

Our next group starts on Wednesday, March 7th at 6 pm GMT, which is 1 pm EST or 10 am PST. For more information, visit http://www.maximumproductivitymakeover.com.

If you’re in a relationship and you have ADHD, Saint Valentine’s Day may not always be a fun day.  In fact, romance can be hard to come by any day of the year.  Your ADHD might be getting in the way of both of you thriving in the relationship.

My husband, Duane and I have always been very open about how his ADHD almost destroyed our marriage.  Today, we have an amazing relationship, but Duane and I used to have many fights.  I often felt I had three children instead of two; and that first child was very temperamental.

What was the most difficult wasn’t what he did, but the fact that I couldn’t rely on him to help me with anything life threw at us: financial problems, car accidents, illness, demotions, professional problems, and worst, relationship issues.  I felt exhausted most of the time because of everything I had to do: managing the budget, taking care of paperwork, dealing with the children’s schoolwork and day care, meal planning, school planning, car and home repairs and the list goes on.

Eventually I stopped fighting about it and became resigned that life with Duane was always going to be a burden. I’m glad things have changed and that our relationship has become one of love (which it always was) and support where both of us thrive.

When One is Hurting, Both Are Hurting

Whether it’s ADHD causing the struggle in your relationship or not, one thing is certain, when one of you is suffering, the other is suffering too.  My father is deaf, so when he watches TV, it’s loud, so loud that when we visit, we can hear the TV blaring from the corner of their street (their house is about 10 houses in!)  My father’s loud TV was making my mother, who’s a calm person who enjoys peace and quiet, absolutely miserable.

Finding a Solution for One Spouse, is a Gift for the Other

One Christmas, Duane and I gave my Dad a headset that connects to the television.  As a result, my father could control the volume of the TV through his earphones and suddenly, the household became quiet again; both Mom and Dad were happy.  My father’s deafness made my mother miserable until we found a solution for him.  She often tells me that it was one of the best gifts she ever received; and it wasn’t even her gift!

The same is true of ADHD, whether you’re an adult with ADHD or the spouse of an ADHDer, if you are struggling, both of you are hurting.  And when the spouse with ADHD learns how to manage life better, both of you (and your children, family, friends and co-workers) live a better life.

When Duane spoke to me about hiring a coach, I admit I was sceptical.  After all, we had spent a lot of money on numerous well-known Time Management Programs and even special programs for Goal Setting and even Financial Planning, but nothing worked.  What finally made me take a leap of faith was the belief that if we didn’t do anything, nothing would ever change and we would both be doomed, along with our children, to a mediocre (at best) life.  That may seem harsh, but we were in “survival mode,” and when you’re focused on simply surviving, it’s impossible to reach any level of self-realization.

It was only when Duane sought help with an ADHD coach that I stopped hurting.  As he learned new skills such planning, time management, focusing etc., he became a better partner for me and our relationship flourished.

If you have ADHD and you are struggling because of it, forget the flowers and the candy and consider getting help to manage your ADHD.  It’s not selfish… it will be a gift for your spouse as well.  And if your spouse has ADHD, make getting help your gift to them and your spouse will return the gift to you many times over.